Am I truly listening?

Imagine this: You have a problem. But it doesn't just affect you—someone else is also impacted by it. You decide to do the right thing and involve this person. You hope that together, you can work things out and find a solution.

But when you bring up the issue, you notice that the other person becomes irritated or withdraws. They want you to be quiet or simply ignore you. "Not now," they say. "I was just about to go for a workout," or "I'm swamped at work." Instead of listening to the problem you're trying to bring to their attention, they label you as the problem. They think that if you stop talking or if they just ignore you, the problem will magically go away.

How would that make you feel?

Frustrated? Abandoned? Stuck? All understandable responses, whether it’s with a colleague, a friend, or a family member.

Now, imagine that this story isn't about your interaction with another person, but about your relationship with your own body. When your body tells you that something is wrong, how do you respond?

Listening to Your Body

Maybe it feels strange to think of your body as 'speaking'. But I believe we can agree that our bodies definitely communicate. You’re probably familiar with some signals, like the feeling of hunger, fatigue, or the urge to use the bathroom. As we were growing up, we were explicitly taught to listen to these signals and were also told how to respond to them. But what if, just like in the story, we dismissed these signals?

Many of us were never taught how to deal with the most of the subtle or uncomfortable sensations in our bodies. If we were taught anything, it was often to quickly fix those sensations—the 'noise'—rather than being curious about why they are there. We don’t learn to work with our body; we learn to control it or even ignore it entirely.

" We don’t learn to work with our bodies; we learn to control it or even ignore it entirely. "

For me, this is what (re)connecting with yourself is about: practicing how to engage with your body from a place of curiosity. Treating your body like an ally, . Essentially, we are our bodies, so when we ignore its signals, we are ignoring parts of ourselves. All it takes is a curious mindset, patience and stillness to truly listen.

In my work as a massage therapist and breathwork coach, this is the intention with which I welcome people. More importantly, I invite my clients to practice it themselves. And if that doesn't feel very accessible right now, I am here to support along the way. Like any other communication skill, it's something we need to practice.

Want to explore your relationship with your body? These questions might help you get started:

• How do I react when I feel pain?

• Do I treat my body like a friend? Does that change when I experience pain?

• During which activities do I feel connected to my body? What does that feel like?

• What makes me feel disconnected from my body? How could I be more like a friend to my body in those situations?

• In what ways do I try to control my body and its response to my life? Do these approaches feel kind?